


I made you a pie

by Lady_Nathair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean is sad and Cas tries to help, M/M, Season/Series 13, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:19:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12712239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Nathair/pseuds/Lady_Nathair
Summary: It was a normal day at the bunker; Sam and Jack were looking for cases and Cas was out running errands while Dean was shut up in his room with his music and a bottle (or two) of jack. He was still struggling with his latest resurrection...





	I made you a pie

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make this cute i really did but I was just so sad/happy (sappy?) about the last episode so it turned into this. I will write a cute version later I promise.  
> Warning: Mentions of death and wanting to die but that shouldn't be a surprise if you watched the latest episode.

It was a normal day at the bunker; Sam and Jack were looking for cases and Cas was out running errands while Dean was shut up in his room with his music and a bottle (or two) of jack. He was still struggling with his latest resurrection.

Dean was done. So ready to be dead. Everything he loved or even liked remotely kept being taken from him long enough for him to suffer then crudely thrown back into his life only to be later ripped from him again. The impending re-loss of his little brother or Castiel haunts him constantly. He never knows when this death will be the last. He is ready to end the cycle. Die permanently. However, Cas is back know and he feels it might be rude if he dies right as Cas comes back, so he holds on and silently hopes that soon some monster on a hunt somewhere gets the best of him and he can finally have some rest.

*** 

Castiel has been back with the Winchesters for a few days now and he can't stop thinking about what the Cosmic entity (as he so called himself) has said to him. "I know who you  _love."_ Cas had always known he cared for the Winchesters a great deal, but the way the cosmic entity said "love" did not imply the platonic, brotherly sort of love he felt for them. Though truth be told his bond was stronger with Dean. The brothers are his best friends; of course he loves them, but surely it couldn't be either of them the entity was talking about. 

These were the thoughts that filled his head while he was out doing errands. He had some things to get for a little project he wanted to work on for Dean. Cas had noticed Dean's Change in demeanor, he was more cut off than usual and Sam looked at him with a sad, worried expression every time Dean turned his back. He had tried to talk to Dean to see what was wrong but every time Dean was out of his room, Dean seemed to avoid looking at or even being in the same room as him. And when he asked Sam if it was his fault Dean was acting this way, that his coming back was too much for him. Sam just sighed and said vaguely that it isn't his fault and Dean is just "working through some stuff right now." 

Cas has a hard time believing  that he isn't to blame at least partly, so he wants to do something to make him feel better. It is well known to the angel that Dean likes pie. A lot. It always seems to make Dean happy when pie was provided so Cas is going to make him a pie. He has never done this before but he wants to make Dean happy. "Maybe I can ask Sam for assistance." He thinks to himself as he makes his way back to the bunker, ingredients in tow. 

***

Dean heard Cas out in the kitchen talking with Jack and Sam about something he couldn't  quite make out through the walls of his bedroom. He knew he should be out there too, enjoying Cas's company while it lasted, but he just couldn't bring himself to recreate that bond they had had before he died. It hurt Dean deeply when he watched Lucifer's blade pierce through Cas's chest. He relived that pain every time he looks at Cas. He cares for the angel with such intensity that he doesn't think he could survive losing him again. After all, he barely survived this last time. 

"Why torture myself even more by spending time with him if he or I is probably just going to die again soon anyway." Dean thinks to himself. Deep down he knows that doesn't make sense; That he should spend as much time as possible with him before one of them dies again, but it's just too painful.

Dean loves the angel. He knows he does and it's a kind of love he has never felt with anyone before. He thought about telling Cas this on numerous occasions and had even promised himself just a few weeks previous, to hell him how he felt if he was ever resurrected, but Dean couldn't bring himself to do it. He was worried Cas wouldn't understand or if he did, wouldn't share his feelings. But what scared him the most was if Cas did feel the same. If they confessed their love and got together and were happy. Because if, no when, one of them died again, it will hurt them so much more. 

***

Cas was working away,with the help of Sam, to finish the pie crust while Jack say quietly by, observing. 

"I think this is a really good idea Cas," Sam said as Castiel set the pie in the oven. " Think he will really appreciate this."

"You really think so?" Cas asked hopefully while wiping his hands off on a towel.

"Absolutely" Sam replied as they started their clean up.

When the pie was done and cooled, Cas decided he wanted to take it to Dean personally. He knocked on Deans door softly and listened to Dean's shuffling as he made his way to open the door. When it opened Cas took in the sight of Dean. He looked exhausted. His eyes had dark circles under them and he was dressed in a ratty tee shirt and sweats. 

"Hello Dean." Cas greeted, holding the pie out to him "I made you a pie. I know you like them."

"Thanks Cas." Dean smiled slightly and opened the door wider "Why don't you come in and we can share this if you want."

Cas gave a short nod and followed Dean into his room. He set the pie on Dean's bedside table next to a pile of dirty dishes. Dean sat down heavily on his bed and motioned for Cas to do the same. 

"Thank you Cas this looks great." Dean says as he takes a fork off the table and digs in. "Mmm." Dean hums in satisfaction.

Cas smiles and watches Dean take a few more bites.

"This is really good, Cas. Where did you learn how to bake?" Says around a large mouthful

"Sam helped me find a recipe online. I thought that if I made you something, you might stop avoiding me." Cas says looking down at his shoes.

Dean swallows "Oh,  _Cas.._ " He sighs and rubs his hand over his face. "I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you much lately it's just been kinda hard lately."

"Why?" Cas asks tilting his head to the side "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing! You did nothing wrong, it's not you, it's...me" Dean replies cringing internally at the line. 

"Then what's bothering you?" Cas pushes 

Dean feels maybe he should just tell the truth, he's so tired of skirting around it all the time. He takes a deep breath.

"It-I-Every time I shut my eyes I see you dying. Every time I hear your voice or see your face, I relive your death and I can't take it anymore. I was crushed when you died. Completely and utterly torn to pieces." Dean sighs and his eyes well up. "I am just so tired Cas. So tired of living, of dying, or death in general. I'm tired of loosing people I  _love._ " Dean swallows roughly and wipes away the tears that fell during his speech. He hopes that Cas understands what he meant when he said love, but at the same time hopes he doesn't.

Cas goes to put his hand on Deans knee while wracking his brain for a response. But as soon as his hand makes contact with Dean's knee, it hits him. Dean said people he " _loves."_ " _I know who you love..._ " rings in his ears. Dean had said love the same way that the entity had. Dean Winchester loves him and he loves him right back. It all makes so much sense now. 

Cas's hands are suddenly on either side of Dean's face pulling him closer until their lips are pressed together  in a kiss to end all kisses. Castiel is trying to say everything he doesn't know how to say, trying to make Dean feel all that he feels in this one kiss. He needs Dean to know how much he needs him, cares for him and loves him. 

When they break the kiss, Dean is crying and Castiel just holds him tightly against his body, Dean's face buried in his neck and Cas's hand brushing soothingly through Dean's hair. 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh gosh I'm sorry this was so bad. This is totally not what I wanted to write but I sometimes feel like my pencil just makes it's own stories. I wanted to write something though and here it was thank you for reading :)


End file.
